Random Thoughts on a Tuesday Afternoon ---
(my final cut)
*** "If I were asleep I could dream...If I were afraid I could hide...
If I were a good man, I'd talk to you more often then I do." ***
(Waters /1970)
Journey with me to a time I lived ..like a dream that will never die!
Have I lived just a blink of eternity... Or am I kin to the Father of Time?
(All I know for sure is)
Madness, forever madness will surround all I try to be!
Good lord, man! How long is forever? Can anyone out there see me?
Will this dream I live ever end?
I hear the gods laugh somewhere far away
As the night attacks yet again.
(Cerutti /1965---2016)
***CLOSE YOUR EYES, IT'S ABOUT TO BEGIN***
*** Distorted glimpses into, a distant fragment of time.
As I struggled to possess, what never could be mine.
Worlds where once I traveled, lands that bare my name.
Back and forth like an endless dream, no part of me remaines
There was one there named Micheal, contempt did rule his gaze..
For the balance of all that was good and bad...was the throne that he surveyed.
And all the gods did look to him, as the clouds of chaos swirled..
I tried to run, but found no escape, trapped within their world.
And so it was there, I first raised my sword
In defense of all I believed...
Ah..but nothing could stop the Sentence that
was delivered down to me.
(Cerutti / 1984)
** I watch the fool 'Mute' as he pierces the silence with violent jabs of meteoric screams...leaving the deep quiet with jagged fissures and gaping holes. **
THIS FEELING INVADES
*** Distantly empty...Quietly sad,
Helplessly lost, Peacefully mad....This Feeling, this thing this.....
black hole of endless thoughts.
Desperatly alone....Chaotically calm like a Dream that never ends.
Over and over would it pull me down, to that lonely place within.
Ah! This Feeling invades and torments with quiet rage..
This Feeling that sends me into the blackness of solitude,
I just close my yes and let the darkness in as this Feeling Invades yet again.
Like a lone ship sailing silently away on the vast, endless sea.....
So I journey with the weight of all that I shall never be,
For still.....
This Feeling invades........
(Cerutti / 1982)
***Viscous dogs attacked me and I cut them down with rage!!!
But with every beast I did fight back another would invade!!
Ah, the pain is tearing.! my very soul to sheds!
Forever alone in random worlds, outside and in my head....
How could I ever love you? When you were but a dream....
How could I know what was right or wrong...
When nothing was as it seamed?
My conscious made me kill you, my madness made you live...
My sentence was eternal..
Never to forgive.
(Cerutti /1984)
.
(Cerutti /2016)
** 'Am I gaining ground, am I losing faith, have I lost and found my Saving Grace? **
-PART 2
----From a Long Ago Day (and a distant prison)
************* ************
("And it's all over but for the coming down, and I been coming down a long, long time")
- J.D. Blackfoot - ************* ************
Tomorrow stretches so far ahead
My fingers cannot grasp my dreams
Yesterday stays so close behind, causing the sweat on my palms to
Grow.
I try to fight against the angry tide
Of emotions like thunder in my soul
But I am just cut to pieces slowly
A damaged part of the whole.
I want....
The numbness of the high,
I want...
the sadness of the low,
This mad chaos so deep inside I want,
No! I need for it to go.
This Feeling invades and my being begins to fade and Into the background I must go......
To spread my wings only to realize I have no wings and....
I have nowhere to go.
And still tomorrow, tomorrow stretches so far away.
(Cerutti/1989)
* (I Am looking for something outside of forgiveness...) *
** 'I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad...
the dreams In which I'm dying are the best I ever had' **
(Tears for Fears / 1982)
---- PART 3
More Randomness (and) My Final Cut----
"I tried to sell my soul but noones buying.
It's getting cold guess it's time for dying.."
{ Erik Francis Schrody }
Ok.... so..
It's midnight of an uneventful day that will soon be forgotten for its absolute nothingness..
I am slightly asleep and heavily sedated with an opiate elixir for tendons and nerves raging like fire..So it seems like a perfect time to step into my thoughts that carry no words and spew the images out as best as I can!
It's dark and the only light is a candle burning crookedly dripping hot wax on my half smoked cigarette.
My keyboard is old and many letters stick from spilled coffee and warm beer.
This is exactly as it should be for a man who has so much to say, but nothing with meaning except to the shadows who never reply..
Not a fictional poem or a worthy biography, but thoughts so heavy if not shared they will surely suffocate what little air is left in my soul.
I have a story to tell, but in the telling I stumble
(Cerutti /2016)
** 'But then last night I dreamed again of the far side of nothing, and trembling with terror I chose to come back this way.
And while stumbling the back alleys In search of right action I fell and wept darkly and aknowledged your name....And the door to my prison dissolved right before me! but like a young fool I quick looked for a power to claim....(and so my willing increased sharp with the knowledge how I so often needed someone out there to blame')' ** mother of the groom dresses for summer
(Ferron)
*** "I held the blade with trembling hand prepared to make it..but!
just then the phone rang and I didn't have the nerve to make the Final Cut" ***