1.witchcraft is when breeze blows a girls gown up and the same wind blows sand into your eyes
2:For those of you who use to catch me when my mother wants to beat me hope you are now police officer idiots
3.Nigerians are always the same
A Nigerian guy travels to USA and commit
So he was being chased by FBI then he ran into a club and got mixed up with people
The FBI made the announcement then the owner of the club went and off the light and on it again
The mumu shout up NEPA he is still in prison as we speak
4.When your mother says good for nothing and then you whisper back to sender, immediately your junior sister heard you and tell your mother.
My brother I think I told you that your mouth will kill you one day?
5.that awkward moment when you sat down with your legs open not knowing that your trouser is torn and then you saw your crush passing by looking at dat direction, then you bend to see it
Father lord save my soul
6.it is only in Nigerian film that a poor man will leave village for city and 2 months later he will come back with a big Jeep as if in Lagos there are money on the floor
7.guys that turn back to look at a girls buttocks the day you will turn to salt is coming
Have said my own
8.if you are short stop celebrating your birthday, you are not growing at all
Don't insult me oh am not your mate oh
9.my sister big buttock with ugly face is like public holiday on Saturday its a waste
Wisdom will not kill me
10.Yakubu had a dream in which someone murdered him. Next day he closed his back account. You know why?
Because the slogan of the bank was, ''We make your dreams come true'
11.Surviving in Nigeria is not easy at all,
Someone online wants to sell a fridge with no door to me, he is convincing me to use a curtain.
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12.Everyday, you're praying, ''OH! God, make me the head and not the tail. But your favourite is tail of fish.
My dear, you're not ready.
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13 Women who put chain on their legs, look like a lost fowl.
Biko don't insult me, you can argue with your ancestors
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14. It is only in NIGERIA people will knock on your door and still uses their mouth to do ''Ko-Ko-Ko'
15. Never block a Benin girl on social media
because even after you do, she'll just sit at home cross leg and be looking at you through mirrow
16. Women should learn to believe in their
husbands even if the reason they give you is unconvincing. Imagine Jonah's wife reaction when he came home after 3days claiming he was swallowed by a fish.
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17. A search on Google..''Am pregnant, how can I tell my parents?''
Google replied..''If you can open your legs why can't you open your mouth?''
23. Stop telling someone's child to go and marry because their mates are married. Your mates are also dead and nobody is forcing you to go and die
18. A TEACHER'S LETTER TO A PARENT:
''Dear parent, timothy, your son, doesn't smell nice in school. Kindly encourage him to take his bath''
PARENT REPLIES:
''Dear teacher, timothy is not a rose flower. Don't smell him, just teach! Thank you''.
19. Stop taking pictures near people's car, before your village people will kill you for nothing,thinking that you've made it
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20. I saw a lady wearing a wedding ring on the wrong finger and i asked why? She said its because she married the wrong man.
What a wicked world
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21. Naija is hard o. White men will see their soul to the devil and the will enjoy a rich long life. In naija, you'll sell your soul, have sex with a mad person, use your private part, then they'll tell you, ''You can only wear slippers anytime you are going to any events. wedding dresses for pregnant women
22 How will somebody go to eatery and order for OKPA DI OKU. I don't want to call state, before they say am insulting ENUGU people.
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23. BE CAREFUL WHO PRINTS YOUR WEDDING
CARDS
A printer was asked to put 1 John 4:18 on a wedding card but he made a mistake by not including the "1" before John so he printed John 4:18
1John 4:18 says "There is no fear in love but perfect love cast out all fears"
but
John 4:18 says "For You have had five
husbands before and even the one you have now is not your husband....drop ur comment it took me an 4days to do dis